New Years Eve

Here it is... New Year's Eve 2012.

I am sitting at home alone.

I will not be alone all night, but I'm not leaving my house. Three of my lovely friends are coming over and I'm sure I will laugh with them and have a good time.

But I've been sitting on my bed thinking back on this year.

So many wonderful amazing things happened, but I can't stop thinking about the things that hurt me this year.

I am quick to love and so far that has only led to pain.

So I am hoping that 2013 leads to better results.

I am hoping.

A Thursday.

Today went from a really full day to a pretty empty day. I was set to go to the gym, hang out with my Bestie for a long time and then go to this party with a bunch of teenagers. What was the one thing I did? I went to the party.

Didn't have my buddy to go to the gym with this morning, and my stupid key thing still isnt working. I called and apparently it never would have worked because it said my account was expired or whatever. So hopefully that will be fixed soon. I need to not be fat by new years. I dont see this happening so much. Ideally id lose 6 pounds by then. but my lack of access to the gym without Michelle makes that seem impossible. Also... I'm going to NYC sat night until NYE.

Then because of the snow last night and today, my Biffle who lives in Granville was stranded and couldnt come to hang out with me. I miss her mucho.

But I still went to the party cuz I wanted to see a couple people, one of which was in Spain this whole semester. I only stayed for a while because, let's face it, I was Old Man Jones there with a bunch of kids no older than 17...

The best thing out of the party was to hear that my High School music teacher still talks about me and wishes that I was still there to be in Chorus and in the Musicals. So that's nice to be remembered and missed.

And because I had nothing better to do today, I made a couple more cds from shows I recorded and watched the Muppets movie finally.

It was pretty relaxing, yet productive in it's own way.

Tomorrow has some fun in store. I'll tell you all about it.

Until next time.

Busy town

Oh man! I got off my game and missed two days!

But I guess those days were Christmas Eve and Christmas day, so maybe I have an excuse.

I see that a few days ago I had 60 pages views. This... blows my mind. I only thought like 3 people cared about the blog or even knew it existed.

So... my mom's sister and family were down here for Christmas. They came in Dec 24th evening and left this morning. They are fun and we laugh a lot with them. Plus we ate an absurd amount of food. Which was all very yummy, but also makes me superfat. So I tried to eat less today, was successful, but still ate more than I should. Boo.

I got some practical stuffs for xmas which is always good. The biggest fun thing I got was the entire series of Parks and Recreation on DVD. I hope you watch and love this show. If not, do yourself a favor and go watch it.

Today I made audio tracks of my illegal recording of Newsies, so that was fun. Then I went to the mall with my friends and bought a whole bunch of things at Forever 21 for RUL cheap. It was greatness. Now, I basically have all the clothes I may need. Then we went and saw Les Mis. Me for the second time and it was wonderful. I predict another viewing with my family at some point. I'm all for it. Then we at dinner with some more friends at Friendlys. I got the Honey BBQ Chicken Supermelt as I ALWAYS do and it was delicious. I refrained from getting the meal thing which comes with a drink and dessert. So that was good, but it was still eating out and so... fat. Then it was snowing and we had an epic journey to drop people off and then I went to the gym on my way home only to find that my key things still doesnt work and so I gotta deal with that.

Tomorrow I get to hang out with my Bestie and Biffle! (They are the same person haha) That is if this darn snow lets up.

Alrighty... I'm falling asleep here, so I think I shall actually do that.

Nighty nighty!

The Glee Show

I caught up on the last three episodes of the Glee show today.

Starting off, I loved this show and everything about it. Then I stuck up for it, assuming it was just going through a phase. Now I just flat out can't stand it, but continue to watch because it seems like some sort of child of mine that I have to make sure is still at least alive and continuing to exist.

It had a sister named Smash which has become the favorite child, but I can't give all my attention to her, even though Glee has been acting out lately.

And watching these past three episodes, there were scarce moments when I was proud to call him my child. The rest of the time, I was just embarrassed. The moments I liked were *spoiler alert as if anyone cares* when Kurt sang Being Alive. Thought that was just great. And he didn't use falsetto ONCE during the song. A big step. Then of course in the next episode he was back up floating in the stratosphere for no particular reason. The other moment was when the new Rachel (Oh.. her name is Marley... I only remember because of the joke Sue makes about the movie Marley and Me. That was hilarious) and her mom get a tree and presents and money anonymously from Sue (but then somehow figure it out). It was just sweet.

Otherwise Glee is mostly just a pile of crap. And I wish his sister, Smash more success than him.

Sorry 'bout it.

You Ok?

I guess I just suck at knowing how to read people through their texts.

Yesterday I found out I was not cast in In The Heights. It sucked. I mean in all the ways I was expecting to not get in. YET in all the ways I was expecting to get in. Not getting cast, or the rejection of it all, is not the thing that made me sad. It was not getting a chance to work with this team that disappointed me. AND the fact that seemingly my one chance at playing this part is gone. So basically its a bummer.

So I'm not feeling so hot and then I get a text.

It was J, who I don't believe has been mentioned on this here blog yet. J and I happened like 3 weeks ago. It was fun. It was one night. I left my number because... if you read this blog, you are certain to know, I'm always game for more. Yesterday was the first day I get a text.... 3 weeks later. There was a pseudo-apology within the initial text. But I chose to respond in a friendly but non eager way (at least I tried to)

Then the responses became really confusing. Maybe I'm making them more confusing than they were, but it seemed like I was being brushed off. I dont get why after 3 weeks one would text and not have any desire for any sort of conversation. So then I was mad. Because naturally... once my emotions are headed in a direction, everything pulls them deeper and deeper in that direction. I may be bipolar or some shit like that. Who knows.

Grumpy Bryan was all over the place and Twitter caught a lot of the expulsion of feeling.

Mid day today I get a text saying "How's everything been? You ok?"

Sorry, but DA FUCK does that mean? I began to wonder if my Twitter rantings had been sighted by J, then I thought... maybe he's just talking about ITH. So I've responded in that vain, but who knows.

Once again, I find myself just wishing people were honest about how they felt and didnt play these silly little games. And I find myself wanting to be super honest with them, but I know if I just let go and say all the things I'm really thinking, I will ensure fright and will never be spoken to again.

UGH. Life is frustrating.

The End Of The World

Here's my to-be-expected end of the world post.

Everyone's been chattering on about it on Facebook, but I have restrained. So I'll mention it here. (By the way... it ain't hapennin')

But twere it to occur.. at least I ate at the Olive Garden yesterday!

For my last day on Earth, since.. let's be real, if the apocalypse does occur... no way I'll be saved after the things I've done ;) hehehe

SO... for my last day on Earth, I'm going to the gym with Michelle then getting a haircut then going shopping for clothes and at Barnes and Noble.

Should prove to be a thrilling day!
Have a great last day!
I love you!

There's No Place Like Home

I've been blogging a whole lot more often lately... perchance this is due to the lack of insanity in my life.

I'm back home now in good old Southwick.

Last night I went to sleep at 10 and woke up at 8 this morning. Solid. Have I mentioned that my body does not let me sleep late in the morning ever? Cuz it's true. But 10 hours of sleep is a brilliant amount.

Also.. I've watched 8 episodes of Private Practice in the past 24 hours. So there's that. I'm taking some relaxation time because... I want to.

I was going to go to the Olive Garden this evening, but those plans fell through. DUMB. But I'll go soon. But since I will not probably be doing anything today.. I've just been sitting in my bed watching the PP and eating the foodz.

Tomorrow will be the day that I return to the gym. Did I go to the gym once at NYU?? Nope... whoops. But I've already paid for the gym here, and now I've got a buddy! My friend Michelle goes to the same place now, so we will work out together and it will be greatness.

I'm really hoping that today is my last "do nothing all day" day. I really plan to be productive this break. I want to read a lot, go to the gym a lot, get stuff done that doesn't really matter, but I usually don't have time for, NOT eat all the food every day, see my friends, and go back to NYC refreshed and ready to tackle this next semester like a boss making jello.

That last remark... it has been decided by my friend and roommate Sarah and I that we should relate everything to jello in some way. Because it's fun and hilarious.

One more thing... they STILL have yet to let me know about In The Heights. I am going crazy! But they told us that the delay was because of the need to gain approval from the Tisch Studios for each student in order for them to be cast.... So we are waiting on that. I hope in all the ways that I am in good academic standing and will not be halted from doing this show. I don't believe I would be in a dangerous place, but.... now I'm paranoid.

OK. Happy Thursday!

Oh yeah... and I hope the world doesn't end tomorrow! :)

Bring Him Home

Well... I scheduled my bus for 1:15 this afternoon anticipating a possible late night last night/slowth of my packing this morning. Neither happened. Now I'm bored. And ready to go home.

But last night was fun because I got to see an advanced screening of Les Miserables with Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.

First: the movie. I really enjoyed it a lot. I thought it was beautifully done. But... I had some complaints. Which is unlike me. Usually I just love love love movie musicals even when everyone else hates them. And my complaints are not great in number or intensity, but they do exist. This is not a negative, but Javert's death is Rough for Theatre I. I thought it was done well, and there's no doubt that he's dead. NONE. My biggest issue was with Hugh Jackman. I actually thought his "I'm acting while singing" thing was a little pushed at times, but just sometimes. Overall, I think he did very well. The one thing that I really disliked was his rendition of Bring Him Home. He freaking belted the whole thing. The WHOLE thing. This is not a song one belts. There is a moment when it builds to a belt, but it certainly should not start or end that way. (And I use the word belt loosely, he was really just singing in full chest voice) So that bothered me a lot. It just in no way felt right. Another thing that bothered me a bit was the occasional throat singing from Eddie Redmayne. It was distracting. The person I think did the most consistent job and got the least recognition thus far is Aaron Tveit. He's just amazeballs in all the ways. ALL the ways.

There is plenty else to talk about, but I don't care to write it all down here. But I'd be happy to discuss.

Second: the company. So... I didn't actually have plans to go to this screening with anyone. I had discussed the fact that I would be there with both my friend Jesse and Z, but didn't make solid plans on like "let's meet there... etc"with either. Jesse texted me shortly before I got there and so I was going to meet him. But... then as I was exiting the subway, The Battery's Down theme was playing on my iPod and so naturally... I was singing along. And apparently Z was just turning the corner when I unashamedly was "belting" the last "Wahh" of the song and startled him. He turned around and saw me and then we walked in together. So then I had this awkward time of talking to him and talking to Jesse with Z being unaware that I was doing so. And basically Z just made me his and assumed I would follow him around wherever he went. And, well, this was true. But I felt bad for sort of leaving Jesse in the dust. I tried to keep him attune to where we got seats and the like, but it ended up not working out. But I also explained to Jesse that Z was an interest so I think he understood. But after the evening unfolded, I feel bad for allowing myself to get swept away by Z. We were talking and it came about that Z had completely forgotten that we went to see Titanic in 3D together this spring. DA FUCK?! And then after the movie he was like "I'm going to the bathroom then I don't know what my plans are. What are you doing?" And I was like... I got no plans. Then there was a pause and then he was like PEACE. And I left. Alone. I decided to be available for connection but not actively pursue it because I have made my feelings perfectly clear, so continuing to force myself on someone who doesn't want me seems a little pointless. So I just decided that if anything were to happen it would be initiated by Z. No big surprise it wasn't. Basically, I'm donezo with that now. I mean, I ain't gonna say no if the situation arrises, but there is just no point in pursuing it any further.

So... there's all that. Probably far more than any of you care about. But it used up some time writing it, so I have less minutes until I go home now.

ALSO: I still have not heard from In The Heights. I am literally going crazy.

I Dreamed a Dream

So today I had my last final and then my last day at TADA for the semester.

Then I got to see my OG friend, Sam for a while and we ate some delicious food in Little Italy.

Tonight I am going to an advanced screening of the Les Miz movie with Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. Z will be there and there are free preshow cocktails so... things could get fun. Hahaha But in all seriousness I cannot wait for this movie. I am so excited.

But... I am hoping that the only person I hear sing I Dreamed a Dream tonight is Anne Hathaway and not me as well when I am sobbing on my way home.

Sure Les Miz is sad and all, but I am waiting to hear if I got cast in In The Heights at NYU or not.  I auditioned, got called back for Benny (yes.. the black character, cuz I'm so black) and then didn't get called back for him again, but instead was brought in for Piragua Guy. The callback was last night and I think went fairly well, but I just have no idea. Because once again... here comes Tall, Young, Fairly Fit Whitey McWhiterson to audition for a Short, Old, Chubby Latino Man. So I have my doubts.

But what makes this so important to me is that Piragua Guy is, without exaggeration, my second favorite musical theater character ever. It goes Elphaba, Piragua Guy. DONE. So those two roles have always seemed like impossible dream roles that I would never have a chance at even getting considered for ever. Now that I am so close to one of them, I just want it.

And I believe the cast list will be sent out tonight. So... Who knows.

I mean, if I don't get it, I understand and I have West Side Story still, but... I just wanna sell some icees.

Santacon

Well it has been a long time since I blogged. Sorry about that.

I got to see LISA today! It was great fun. I met her at a bar where she was Santacon-ing and then we went and she got tacos and I got a burrito.

Then I saw The Great God Pan at Playwrights Horizons. I think this was my least favorite show I've seen at PH. I liked it, but it didn't quite land the way I wish it would have. Though it left me with a sour feeling leaving the theater which I was surprised about. But not sour about the production, but sour because of the content. And I LOVED the set!

Ok.. got to go. I have company ;)

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all ya'll peeps.

I'm thankful for many of the things today. I plan to disclose some info to my family today. This should not come as a surprise to them, but I'll be thankful once I do it and once they take it well. I assume they will.

See you on the other side.

Catch Up

Hey bloggy folk.

So it has been 10 days since I've blogged and even more since I really blogged. A slap on the wrist to me. But... life has been cray.

Let's see....
Sandy happened and fucked everything up. Like hardcore.
And because of her craziness, last week was INSANE.

I had an interview for an internship that I don't think I got because it's been over a week and a half and I've heard nothing from them. But that's ok cuz I'm mad busy.

I was in a show! I got promoted from Man 3 to Man 2 and went from 1 line to 2 lines! WOOT. It was brilliant. That was fun, but I was in tech and performances all week.

I auditioned for Spring Awakening. I did not get a callback. This saddens me.

I auditioned for West Side Story and was cast at Officer Krupke! This is more exciting. Also.. I believe this is the first time I've been cast in a musical in a non singing role. Interesting.

I drank a bit in celebration of my friend's 21st birthday. But nothing overly exciting happened.

I went to the MET.

I rehearsed for a Cabaret which is going to benefit Sandy victims. That is happening tomorrow night.

I collected for BC/EFA. More of that is happening today and tomorrow.

I worked the box office for The Cherry Orchard at PHTS. That was a bit of a disaster, but I worked through it and only had to fudge the numbers a little bit to make it work.

I was GOING to see Scandalous, a new musical on Broadway, on its last preview before opening BUT the star, and only reason anyone is seeing the show, Carolee Carmello was out on vocal rest. Does not bode well. But... if things continue as they have been... which they will... she won't be singing the crazy score for long. But anyhow.. I now have a ticket to a Broadway performance that didn't happen! COLLECTOR'S ITEM.

Instead, I saw the Cherry Orchard that night. And it was very good.

I rehearsed some more. For directing class and the benefit.

I saw The Daughters last night which ROCKED MY WORLD. It's a 45 min musical with riffs and power chords you wouldn't believe. And three of my friends were in it and kicked some serious ass. I LOVED IT.

Then last night I celebrated another friend's 21st bday. But I basically didn't eat anything all day... so for the first time I got blackout drunk. And woke up in some guys bed. It was a BAD life choice. And I lost a sock. And I went home at 10am. STILL DRUNK. like for realzies.

Then I had rehearsal for directing at noon.

Now I'm going to collect at Evita.

Then I'm doing some stuff downtown and going out to dinner and then out out to celebrate yet another friend's 21st bday! My lovely lady friend KIM. Hopefully tonight will not end as last night did.

All that happened in the past 10 days. Plus class, homework, and life type things.

Soon it will be time for thanksgiving and I will get to rest.

Talk to you sometime soon.

Obama

Well, this is basically all I have time for in my life this week.... Obama Won. And I couldn't be happier.

Enjoy.

Skivvies

Tonight I went out to a bar to see this band called The Skivvies play a mini set. Eric Micheal Krop from Godspell was also singing, so that was a surprise!

The Skivvies are a duet consisting of this very attractive man, Nick Cearley and a lovely lady, Lauren Molina - who I saw on Broadway in Rock of Ages!

It was real great, but I was alone. Which was fine except... they gave away free tickets to Naked Boys Singing and Newsical the Musical! And... all I had to do was show them my "cute underwear." But since I was alone, I felt awkward and lacked the confidence to do it.

Now I'm pissed at myself. BOO. And I've got school in the morning.

OK. Sleep.

Wait... must show you pretty....


Ok. Done. (Also... it's much better in person ;))

Close Friends

There is this thing on the facebooks now that you can add people to called Close Friends. It will notify you when they update their status, etc. I have used it solely as a stalking tool. It makes things very easy - all my stalking needs in one nice bundle, no need to hunt them down one by one.

I'm actually surprised that I have not gone above 3 people on that list. It is probably best I haven't. But I have just now shrunk that number from 3 to 2. I removed D from the list. I need to get over that and having constant daily reminders shoved in my face clearly just isnt going to help it.

So now only #MyFav (I've been thinking about switching this to C, but #MyFav was the original and I like the hashtag.) and Z remain. While I see nothing happening between me and either of these folks, it, for some reason, does not pain me as much to see. I've come to a comfortable place with still being obsessed to a certain degree with #MyFav but not quite as insanely as before. Going months without seeing him in person probably is helping that. Cuz.... SO PRETTY. Also.. did I ever tell you he hugged me after I saw Into The Woods? Yeah, that was a good day. I mean, I've sufficiently scared him forever, so why not keep tabs? Ain't gonna make anything worse.

Z on the other hand is actually still up in the air. It seems to me that the sparks will never ignite with this one, but I have not been SHUT DOWN in the way that I have with #MyFav and D. So... I leave this one for now.

I have tentative plans with this guy I met on Halloween at a bar when I was rather drunk for this weekend some time. We shall see how that goes. If it even goes. And I shall call him Cer because he has the same name as #MyFav but with an er stuck on to the end. Tis a more common name, but my crazy only allows me to see it through this lens. I'm sure I'll keep you posted on how this progresses.

ALSO. Last night I randomly went out to this bar with my roommate and her sister and sang some Karaoke! I sang Somebody to Love which many folks seemed to be impressed with, and then I Can't Fight This Feeling later on once everyone was more drunk and cared much less. It was great fun. But the problem was... I was at a straight bar. This provided jack diddly for me. Someday I will sing at a gay bar and the biddies will want me. I'm sure I'll tell you all about that when it happens too.

Ta ta for now. Have a swell rest of your weekend.

THE WHALE at Playwrights Horizons

Last night I saw The Whale at Playwrights Horizons.

It was wildly different from basically anything else I've seen, yet at the same time, it's just a regular play. It is really just a play about a incredibly dysfunctional family, but the father weighs 600 pounds.

I will issue a spoiler alert now, if that sort of thing matters to you. It is hard to talk about this play without explaining things you don't know going in.

Charlie is the man at the center of this piece. He is morbidly obese and is a essay writing teacher of online classes. Early on we learn he will probably die by the end of the week, and sure enough, he does. But not without a lot of shit hitting the fan.

He is pleasuring himself when, coincidentally a Mormon missionary comes by. Charlie starts to have what seems to be some sort of heart failure and Elder Thomas comes in and Charlie insists that the only way to help him is to read this essay on Moby Dick. Elder Thomas does and Charlie is back to his normal state.

Charlie's only friend, Liz comes in shortly after and is a nurse; she takes care of Charlie because he refuses to go to the hospital. Charlie tells Liz that he wants to call Ellie, his daughter who is now 17 and whom he hasn't seen since she was 2.

Charlie was married and had Ellie. When she was two, he met this man named Alan and they fell in love. Charlie left his wife Mary to be with Alan. He had very little communication with Mary and Ellie from there on out. Ellie now hates everyone and has a blog in which she posts pictures and horrible writings about the people in her life and how she wishes great harm onto them. Ellie goes to Charlie's house and he offers her all the money he has saved from teaching (in the range of $120,000) if she will just let him get to know her a little. She comes each day and is horrible and rude, but eventually finds some love in her heart for her father.

Charlie's partner Alan died a few years prior to this, which is what spun Charlie into this spiral towards obesity. Alan was a Mormon but broke away from the church until one day his father asked him to come back and hear this one sermon. He did and after that day he shut down and refused to eat and slowly killed himself. We find out about half way through the play that Liz was Alan's sister.

The biggest thematic element of the show is this constant reference to Jonah and the Whale and Moby Dick. Elder Thomas keeps coming back to see Charlie and eventually gets information about the sermon that Alan heard, which was a big mystery until now. Alan was told the story of Jonah and the Whale and made to believe that because he loved Charlie, God would punish him. There is a lot of animosity towards Elder Thomas, but it turns out he is having his own issues with the church and has actually faked his current mission after being kicked off his original, real mission. He just wants to help someone, and make a difference - a feeling that was not shared with his original mission partner. He is trying to help Charlie, but in the end cannot.

Charlie is not saved, but in his final moments he has Ellie read him that essay on Moby Dick, which it turns out she wrote when she was in 8th grade and it is the only thing he had of her's for many years and that is why it brought him such comfort.

That was probably a really confusing summary, but there are just so many parts to this play that it is difficult to explain entirely without taking an hour and 50 mins like the running time of the show. Haha. That was a very effective tactic for this play - no intermission. You are forced to watch the demise of this man and all these people in his life for almost 2 hours without any break.

It was well crafted with surprises throughout and the production was fantastic; the acting, great - particularly Shuler Hensley who played Charlie.

I even bought the script because it is a really thought provoking play and I might want to do one of Elder Thomas' monologues for an upcoming audition.

And one last thought - there was a great line poking fun at The Book of Mormon that was subtle, but very effective.

Liz: You grew up in Iowa and they sent you to Idaho for your mission?
Elder Thomas: Yeah, I don't know. Some of my friends got to go to Los Angeles. A few went to Africa. It's--fine.

Who Am I?

I was posed this question by my Acting teacher twice now. We answered his question once, but it seems, as a whole, we didn't do it right. So he has prompted us again. This was my response. I think it came out pretty good- much more thoughtful than the last time. It may seem pretty rapid, but it took a long time to write. I didn't want to miss anything, yet I know I have.

Bryan Austermann

Acting II

Group C

Who Am I? – October 31, 2012

I am Bryan Austermann. I am loving. I am powerful. I am weak. I am angry. I am timid. I am upset. I am tired. I am crazy. I am energetic. I am sorry. I am gay. I am a democrat. I am scared. I am hopeful. I am white. I am boring. I am interesting. I am funny. I am lonely. I am sad. I am attractive. I am ignored. I am undesirable. I am a failure. I am successful. I am unemployed. I am lost. I am content. I am a man. I am feminine. I am masculine. I am strong. I am worthless. I am treasured. I am safe. I am protected. I am vulnerable. I am mature. I am silly. I am immature. I am obsessed. I am clingy. I am distant. I am reserved. I am quiet. I am loud. I am organized. I am unprepared. I am worried. I am trying. I am crying. I am stuck. I am helpless. I am desperate. I am wounded. I am ugly. I am fat. I am not fat. I am tall. I am solid. I am miserable. I am a volunteer. I am thankful. I am protecting. I am helpful. I am loved. I am desired. I am refused. I am in love. I am alone. I am German. I am Italian. I am Irish. I am unknown. I am a son. I am a grandson. I am a nephew. I am a cousin. I am a brother. I am younger. I am older. I am late. I am a student. I am a leader. I am a teacher. I am alive. I am living. I am hungry. I am searching. I am confused. I am ashamed. I am fake. I am honest. I am deceitful. I am smart. I am stupid. I am foolish. I am emotional. I am destroyed. I am working. I am friendly. I am hateful. I am inconsiderate. I am thoughtful. I am an adult. I am a child. I am dependent. I am independent. I am an individual. I am the same as everyone else. I am here. I am Bryan Austermann.

Hurrication

This has become a full blown Hurrication.

I do not have class again until Monday. This may even change if NYU and their dorms are STILL without power by then, but my guess is they won't let any more days slip away unless absolutely necessary.

Since I've got all this free time, I am going to use it.

I have actually done at least a little bit of work each day which is good. This morning I wrote a thing responding to the question Who Am I? for my Acting class. We had been given this assignment once before and he gave it to us again so that we might dig deeper. My two responses are VASTLY different from one another. And I think this time I, in fact, did dig deeper. So I'm glad for that. I actually might post it. It was pretty simple, but fairly revealing.

And since this hurricane has stranded so many people and whatnot, 1. I am sad for them but 2. I am happy to have made it through unaffected. And the horrible person inside of me is going to take advantage of this situation best I can.

How, you might ask. Well, by going to see Broadway shows of course! I am going to play the lotto for Wicked again tonight. I figure that there will be way less people making their way to the lotto today and so my chances are way better. If I am still unsuccessful with the lotto - which very well may be the case - I am going to utilize Roundabout Theater Company's offer for The Mystery of Edwin Drood in which I can show my MetroCard and get $20 tickets for tonight's performance! I'm certain this will work out even if Wicked fails me yet again.

Also, today is Halloween and as Ken Davenport has told me, attendance is usually down on this day. So I've got Sandy and Halloween on my side.

I also might go see Schuler Hensley in The Whale at Playwrights Horizons this weekend because I've got so much time! That is yet to be determined though. We shall see.

Anywhooo, I'm glad for this time to clear my head and see some things and get some work done.

5 day weekend. Possibly 9?

I am on my 4th day without school, second cancelled day, and with tomorrow already called off, I'll have had at least a 5 day weekend. Crazy! Lower manhattan (including NYU) was one of the places worst hit by Sandy and there are lots of power outages still, including the NYU dorms. So there is talk of what to do with Thursday and Friday. They are uncertain if power will be restored enough in time for classes to resume by then.

Being in Midtown East, essentially we were unaffected by the storm. I had to stay in basically all day yesterday, but the worst was it being really windy for a couple hours in the evening. The streets are not even thinking about being flooded, and I never lost power. My roommate and I have been saying that we totally won this hurricane versus the people in housing. I feel bad for them and have offered my kitchen shower to anyone who needs it and can get here, but I'm just really glad to have gotten through this with no problems whatsoever.

Ok, well that's not true. I still have my problem of eating all the food in the world, but that's not Sandy's fault.

Today is Wicked Day (for real - it's the actual anniversary) - Wicked turns 9 years old today, except all Broadway shows are cancelled tonight. BOO. But since I know I have tomorrow off, and it is likely that performances will resume tomorrow, I am going to go play the lotto again in hopes that I can see it as close to it's birthday as possible.

I have gotten some work done, which is good and a bit surprising! I am going to do some work on fun things for me now and then maybe tonight I'll become motivated again to do real work.

I mean... I might have a whopping 9 days to finish it all, so I'm sure it will work out just fine.

Anyone else feel Sandy's wrath? Doing ok?

Hunker Down

Well, Sandy's here. Oh no... she's almost here. Just windy and rainy outside. I even went out this morning. But, I think I'll stay safe and sound from here on out.

School was cancelled for tomorrow too. So now I've got a lovely 4 day weekend on my hands. But I still have to do a ton of work. And obviously I've yet to start that. I feel that something will happen this afternoon.

I really hope my power stays on. I'm worried it won't and that'll suck.

Also, this storm has gotten me progressively more depressed. I've been talking myself into eating all sorts of things that are bad for me because... well, you know, it's the end of the world, right? So what does it matter?

And then I hate myself after I eat it all. Which has led to my thinking about how no one will ever love me. (I know I'm over dramatic, but this is how my brain makes me feel. Sorry 'bout it.) I know that I'll always have friends that care about me and are there for me, but my desire to have a singular person to be connected to in a more intimate way (for longer than a drunken evening) has been ramping up majorly inside me.

Another problem I've been having - this one really being more of a life long thing -  is that I hate myself for feeling these ways. And I don't think it's justified for me to feel like this. Because intellectually, I understand that there are people with so many other problems, so many bigger problems. And like, here I am, whining about no one loving me. Like Boo Hoo. Who gives two craps?

I also recognize the fact that apparently I am attractive to people, considering some of them keep deciding to do me, or at least make out with me. So, I should feel good about myself because of that right? Well, yeah I do. It's nice to know that someone wants to do those things with me - for whatever reason - and for however long - but when every single time it is so quickly taken away from me, it just sucks even more. What am I doing wrong with every single person?

This is also what makes me believe that I'm boring. Of the guys I've been with, a whopping... none have known me in a more personal way prior to us being together. So, it seems the attraction is purely physical and then I start talking and they retreat.

So yes... this storm. It seems to be fucking with my brain. But is it really the storm? Or is that just my excuse?

Anywho... Hopefully we live to see another day and Sandy doesn't eat us all for dinner.

Sandycakes

Hey there. It's been a while. Alright... what to update you on...

Well, presently Sandy is working her way towards the NYC. Classes have been cancelled for tomorrow and potentially for Tuesday. We will know tomorrow midday, but my guess is yes. So I'm hunkering down in my apartment. We are located just outside of Zone C as of this afternoon. I'm just praying our power stays on because that would be nice.

Leading up to this... The week was the week.. pretty normal.

Friday night - I had an audition. Didn't get it. Oh well. Then I went to see some friends. Alexandra and Jason have an apartment up town and Lori was in the city visiting. I know Alexandra from my Red Door days, Jason went to the same high school as me, but was there when my brother was in school, and Lori and I did a show called Piecemeal at the Majestic a few years ago.

We hung out at their place for a while and pregamed. Had a few drinks, but what really got me going was these Rummy Bears that Jason made. Rum soaked Gummy Bears. I did not like the taste, but what I found to be good about them was that I could just let them slide down my throat. WOO. Apparently like 3 of them equaled one shot. I had at least 15... possibly 20.. or more. I lost count.

So I was sufficiently boozed up and we went down town to the East Village to this bar called Marie's Crisis. Let me tell you, if there was ever a bar built for Bryan, it was this one. Small place, and there is a piano on one wall. And everyone stands around this piano all night. The guy plays. What does he play? Showtunes. DONE. Also... everyone there knows EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. It was quite heavenly for me.

My friend Lori got to sing solo which was great and kinda got "discovered" and offered an audition for The Voice. Pretty fancy stuffs. We also met this guy, Troy, that Lori had done The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee with at the Majestic a couple years ago. Lori foolishly told us that he was single before we got there. So.... well, ok. I'll preface this with the fact that I had a whole debacle with the Spelling Bee my senior year of HS. It was incredibly frustrating, but it's far too long a story to tell here and now. Any how.. so I saw Lori and Luis (another one of my friends) in the show. And I love it so much, I added the rest of the cast on Facebook because I wanted to know them. hahaha

So I don't know if I had ever really met Troy before, but I've seen him on the book of faces often enough. And come to find out... he'd seen me ;). SO. We like... re-meet at the bar. And fairly quickly we start to come in contact with each other. You know... in the ways.

I mean that was a fun night. Singing showtunes, drinkin drinks, makin out. Ultimately I ended up going home alone, which was probably for the best because I have serious issues with not caring about getting a home run my first time up to bat. And thus far, mainly, it hasn't ended all that well for me when things begin like that.

Friday night was enjoyable. Saturday night was enjoyable for different reasons. I planned to just have a lazy night with my roommate. Didn't happen too much. Ended up going to Shake Shack with her and then one of her friends met us there and came back here. Then I had to go collect for BC/EFA at Wicked and when I got back... we started drinking. In all reality, I didn't have that much, but I was pretty crazy. But I was crazy before I even began drinking.. so I dont know.

Earlier in the day I had texted R (from The Sparrow party about a month ago... see blog post Sometimes We Have Messy Hair) I knew he would be at The Sparrow that day so I asked how he liked it. He stopped talking to me about 2 weeks ago. So I was actually very surprised to get a response. And eventually he asked if I was going to this Fundraiser for an NYU show at Brad's down by NYU. I went to that and saw him and also G (kid who wanted me and then ignored me after I got him a ticket and brought him to Into The Woods in the park in August. Yeah.. he's kinda a bitch). But things were mostly awkward.

That all made me sad because it seemed that things with R were going well, and then at some point, I was completely undesirable. I have no idea why. I don't know what I did wrong. And even if I were to ask (which would be awks) I wouldnt get an answer. I truly dont understand why I'm apparently really attractive for one night (that must require alcohol) and then I am worthless and get ignored constantly.

So there we are. It all seems to come back to that awfully quickly. I also never told you about the guy who is crazier than I am! But this post is plenty long enough already.

See you around the blogosphere!

HOLY FING TIME

Ok.

There is no way time can be moving this quickly.

I have too much homework to get done.

I got home. And spent a HALF HOUR writing a text message to D. That's finally officially over and I've explained my crazy actions in a non crazy way. FINALLY. Feels really good to come to peace with it. But still must it really have taken me that long?! My feelings come out in the form of WAY too many digital words.

Then I was planning my DATE tomorrow night. DA F***? Since when does this happen? Dinner and a show. For realz. Going to Da Rosina and then seeing the first preview of The Performers. Doing that took a WHILE.

Then I had to catch up on the Facebook and Twitters. (I did not HAVE to do this, but I did. We all know I did.)

Then I went through my approx 30 emails from TODAY alone! GAH That took some time.

And here we are almost at 8:30.

I still haven't even eaten DINNER yet!

Then I have to get on the HW bus.

Then I have to go friggin VOLUNTEER for BC/EFA.

Then when I get back I have to do tons more homework so that I DONT have to do anything tomorrow because I just simply wont have time. (My guess is the date wont elongate to after the show at all, but I don't want HW to be the reason that it can't.)

Ok here I go.

Biddies

So I had a fantastic day with my Bushnell Biddies yesterday!

We had some grub, then took a roundabout trip to Molly's Cupcakes. THOSE THINGS ARE AMAZING. Then we recreated some artsy pictures we took earlier this year and added some more fun ones. We then parted ways for a bit, but I hunted them down at this bar called Therapy and we had quite the time there. Then Amanda broke her sandal. And we got her some green slippers. Now they are gone and my life is not as fun anymore.

Here are some select pictures from the day.

Why Am I Awake?

So it seems that after I have some dranks, I always wake up really early the next day. Particularly this is the case today. I was like awake and functioning before 7am and I don't have anywhere to be or anything that must be done before 1pm. BUT WHAT?! Seriously... I wonder why this happens, because almost every time it does.

Strange. But at least this way I get some extra time to do things... like talk to you!

Oh also... Last night I was at this bar this man who I have mutual friends with started making the conversations with me. Then we drifted ways for quite some time and I was going to leave because I thought, well nothing is going to be happening, but then he beckoned me over to sit with him. So I did and things seemed to be going fine, but then he leans over to me and say "I think you're really cute, but I'm kinda seeing someone right now." WELL THEN. A lot of good that does me. Though I suppose it's not bad to get a ground floor of attraction laid down so that later on if he becomes not seeing someone, then perhaps things may occur.

So today, I've got PHTS Parents Day. So I get to show the freshman and their parents some fun things at PHTS for a bit and then I get to hang out with my Bushnell Biddies! And later on this evening, I have plans to go clubbing for the first time with my friend Kim! WOOT! Sounds like a blasty blast of a day to me.

What have you got going on on this fine Saturday.

P.S. Yesterday was rainy. I was in class, and after semi-groping my attractive teacher whilst blindfolded, I was leaving and started to sing Tomorrow from Annie for some UNKNOWN reason, but then I reveled in the fact that the words I was saying were actually truth!

Lots going on

Well, it's been a while since my last post. I apologize for this.

I was home in Mass from Sunday til Tuesday afternoon. I was in a benefit performance for the Agawam Cultural Council, but it basically was a Red Door show. So that was fun, got to see those folks for a bit.

Then I was home alone because my parents were in Chicago visiting my brother. And I couldn't legally go anywhere because my license was expired. So I simply sat in my cold house (we had no heat) and ate ALL the food. Literally ALL the food. And I skyped with my friend and watched an unreasonable number of Weeds episodes and wallowed in my sorrows.

Monday I went to DAIRY QUEEN! I had seen one on the bus and highly desired it, so my friend Michelle brought me to one and we ate lots of food. Then my parents got home and we went to get my license renewed and then they took me to the SKYBOX in Southwick. I never ever ever wanted to go there, but it wasn't nearly as scary as I expected and the food was VERY yummy.

Tuesday I visited my former work, the Southwick Rec Center to see this second grader that sent me a picture, so I felt the need to go see her. Then I got a haircut. Then I came back here and did some homework.

Wednesday I had studio and also wrote a 12 page paper. In. One. Day. It required my taking a 5 hour energy which sort of made me rul jittery and crazy. But I got it done.

Yesterday I had a midterm which seemed to go fairly well! And then turned in that paper which was a relief.

I also got my life in order a bit and signed up to audition for West Side Story! WOOT.

My plans for Friday night changed a few times. Originally I was gonna go to this rehearsal for a show some of my friends are in that is open to the public and then go to this fundraiser for some show my friend is working on.

THEN it was going to be that I was gonna go with a friend of mine to see Perfect Crime off Broadway and then to the fundraiser.

THEN it has settled to going to that open rehearsal for a bit and then go to a rehearsal of my own. Then go to the fundraiser!

This is good because that rehearsal is due to my getting CAST in a SHOW! WHAT?! I am gonna be in Hello Out There in a few weeks! Woot! I have 3 lines at the end and get to carry a dead body off stage. So, basically, I'm the star.

Also this weekend my GREAT friends Amanda and Beth are coming to visit Lisa and I get to see all three of them! YAYAYAYAYAYAYYA!

And Sunday, I've got a rehearsal for a directing scene and then I am starting fall collections for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. And... naturally, doing homework.

WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?

Alright, time again for some thoughts on a show I saw last weekend. I'm a little slow at this... but whatever.

So I saw the current revival of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee on Broadway. It stars Tracy Letts and Amy Morton as the boozy bickering couple, George and Martha.

Let's start with the set, because that's the first thing you see when you enter the theater. (Side note: It is playing at the Booth Theatre which is where Next to Normal was when it was on the Bway and this was my first time back there to see a show and I was deeply saddened that I wasn't getting to see N2N even though I was overjoyed to be watching this crazy good show!) OK. The set- this is one of those classic "Living Room Dramas" So we are in George and Martha's living room with the front door back center, the kitchen off right and stairs leading to the second floor stage left. The place is nice enough, but kind of a dump. G and M have really let it go with their messiness and general clutter. Very detailed, nicely done, but fairly classic - though this is what the play calls for.

It is late at night after a party for the staff of the college that George works at and Martha's father is the Dean of (or something like that). G&M have invited a new professor and his wife over after the party. They get there first and, naturally, start drinking. The guests arrive and things are pleasant enough to begin with. But the more alcohol consumed by all, the worse the night becomes. There is a lot of anger spat back and forth between G&M, but it is clear in the beginning of the first act, and at the very end of the play, along with some scattered moments throughout that they really do love each other and know they have to stay with each other to survive. The bickering continues and seeps into arguments between guests and hosts. G&M's son is brought up - which angers George greatly. Martha is attracted to the new professor and tries to have an affair with him to get back at George. And much general drunkenness, but in a serious manner - not all party hard, fun times. SPOILER ALERT: At the end of the play, it is revealed that G&M have manufactured this son and decided that he would just be for the two of them and they would never speak of him to anyone else. Once Martha brings him up, all hell breaks loose and doesnt stop until everything is destroyed.

I had read the play a few years ago and really enjoyed it, but remember not totally understanding the son business. And as I was watching it I know the son didnt exist, but couldn't remember the severity of it. And even though it is the thing that basically causes the play, I think it is the least clear thing about the play. And maybe that is intentional.

The performances from these four actors were across the board fantastic. This is a BEAST of a show. 3 acts. NO downtime (some do go off stage, but the action on stage and the mind games are persistent!) Amy Morton's Martha was brilliant, I couldn't get enough of her, so detailed and funny, and heartbreaking. Ugh, she was just amazeballs. TRACY LETTS - while I thought he nailed George, and was equally amazing as Amy, half of my excitement was just because he WROTE August: Osage County, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. I think that show is unREAL. AMAZING. And to see the man who's brain that came out of up acting in this almost equally amazing show was double awesome. I was also impressed by Madison Dirks who played Nick, but he was my least favorite simply because the other three killed it, but he is also VERY skilled. For me, even though this is TOTALLY the G&M show, the standout was Carrie Coon as Honey, the new professors wife. Her character gets HAMMERED throughout the show. This in itself is awesome, and her part is meant to be the comic relief at times. In my opinion, she stole the show, STOLE THE SHOW. Amy was blathering on about something, doing FINE work, but I could NOT take my eyes off of this woman. Detailed, amazing, stunning, HILARIOUS, truthful, open, brilliant DRUNKENNESS. I can't explain it. She was sober, but you would never know. Ever. It was the most amazing thing to my eyes. LOVED her.

This is a great show to see. It will rev you up, and sort of break your heart, make you laugh, and you'll come out amazed by the intensity that you just witnessed. And Carrie Coon's performance in Act One ALONE is worth far more than the price of admission. Go see it. And love it.

SLEEP NO MORE

Now that it has been a week since I saw Sleep No More, I figure I should give my review.

My problem with this show, pardon, with this review is I really dont know how to do it. This is a show that HAS to be experienced in person. It is almost indescribable.

The show takes place in the old abandoned (but now occupied) McKittrick Hotel in Chelsea.  You go in and find yourself in a bar (your ticket is a playing card) and then you head into the show at whatever point you'd like.

You get dropped off of an elevator alone (they tell you to separate from the people you came with) yet surrounded by other people - but everyone wears the same mask.

This show tells the story of Macbeth through interactions with the audience members and EXTREME dancing/physical movement. You are allowed to roam freely through this hotel and explore, touch, investigate as much or as little as you'd like. There are actors that you can follow around playing the different characters in Macbeth. Occasionally they will take you in for a one on one.

I was chosen by a woman playing a nurse for one of these one on ones, though it was not private. On one of the upper floors, there is a forest/maze room. It's not really a maze, but it winds you around. And in one corner there is a hut occupied by this nurse. When I got there, she was just closing herself into her hut, so I peaked at her through some cracks in the wall and saw that she was headed out, so I went around to the door and waited for her. She came out and started walking through the forest and I stayed right close behind her. She stopped at one point and looked back at me. I knew this was her test to see if I was willing to play along, so I took a subtle step towards her and she grabbed my hand and led me to this room full of beds. She then made me get in one and tucked me in real tight (with a whole bunch of people watching) and then sort of laid on me and whispered in my ear "Get better!"  It was a great moment.

I could spend hours, pages, and so many words describing everything to you, but it would never actually fully convey the SNM experience.

So I will close by saying: Go see this show. Go. Go as soon as you can. Spend the $90 - it's worth it. And when you are there, take in as much as you can, explore everything and follow people around and dont be afraid to get close to them, it could lead to an even more unique experience!

Seriously, why haven't you bought your tickets yet?

The Loveliest of all the Ladies

DEAR WORLD.

Please know that I love my wonderful friend Beth a great deal. It seems too often that she get's left out of Tweet convos or from being mentioned on my blawg, so I'm trying to make it up to her a little bit here.

Here's a little tidbit of info that I've never told anyone before: (given this happened in March, but still) I have only ever once received a Direct Message on Twitter that made me cry. And it came from Beth. And when I say cry, I mean in a good way. I was irrationally flipping out over this guy and tweeting about my dismay and while I think Amanda (and possibly Lisa) responded publicly to my woes, Beth sent me the sweetest 140 characters ever and I was sitting there at Macbeth rehearsal doing nothing, checking my twitter and her message made me so emotional that I didn't want to look like a blubbering fool, so I had to get up and go to the bathroom to calm myself down.

Beth is a fantasmic mother (though I've yet to see her live in action) and was a brilliant boss while I worked at The Bushnell in Hartford. And now, is really basically the only one I know that is still there. (I think Al, and Mike, and maybe Shane and some others I know are still there, but Beth is my only marketing gal/friend left.) And I love it there so much, both working and seeing shows. It is like the perfect place - you should go.

So, that is what I have to say about Beth. She's amazeballs and I love her. And I'm sorry I don't tweet at her as much as I should.

I'm always on Team Beth.
Honestly and truthfully,
Bryan Austermann

My Life Is In Shambles

So, I should be doing hw, but I'll get it done later tonight. (also.. I didn't end up going to rehearsal, because it got cancelled, so I'll contemplate Duncan's death another day.)

I'm posting in the blawg a whole lot lately! This particular post comes out of the want to express my feelings. Because they are all over the place today. Emoting and all- maggie would be proud. But I'm not really emoting, just flipping out inside my brain.

I don't know... today began. I went to class, sat with my friends, had a fine time. Then we dispersed instead of going to lunch as we usually do which was good cuz i had to print 35 copies of notes for my other class. and then i went and did a tiny bit of work before that class. Then I went to Solo Performance and sat through it without talking once again. He really hates me cuz I dont talk but it's because of who i am and how he runs his class. If you want to say something, you have to sit there with your hand raised fully into the air for about 10 mins before he takes a pause in his ramblings to call on someone. Don't get me wrong. I think what we talk about and what he has to say are very interesting, but I have always lived by the rule of "If you have your hand raised while someone else is talking, you aren't really listening to what they are saying because you are just thinking about what you have to say" and I feel like that's true. And so I won't sit there with my hand suspended above my head for however the hell long it might be up there. It makes me feel uncomfortable and it's not how I operate, but he will continue to hate me and never call on me because I dont do that. So that'll be great. So that frustrates me.

Then I left that class and went to the Tisch student lounge to do some work while I waited for that rehearsal that didnt end up happening. and I got stuff done which is good. I am fairly observant about the people who are around me, but pretend I'm not cuz... I don't know I never want to talk to people. or no... that's not true. I just dont want them to think I'm a creepy stalker, because let's face it, more times than not, I basically am. And with some people, I just flat out am.

But anyhow... so there were some PHTS folk that I know but always assume don't know or care about me, so I noted their presence but figured they didnt note mine. Then one of them, a director that called me back for her show but then I didn't get in. (It's a dance show, no big shocker there) But she came over and sat near me and said "Hey Bryan!"which was a complete surprise to me! Figured there was no way she remembers who I am- she also is good friends with #MyFav so I always assume she thinks Im a super creep. And she was just saying hello which is nice.

So that was nice, but then I was sitting there re-thinking about how I didn't get into her show or any show for that matter and how I probably just suck at life and won't ever succeed in this business. I dont think I work hard enough.... So that kinda bummed me out. But you know, it was me bumming myself out, so I could have not done that, but I did. - This happens a lot. A very lot. About a multitude of things.

But I wasn't that distraught over it and I now didnt have rehearsal, so I was gonna go home and get some shit done and be a good student. But I was mad hungry so when I got home I had food. I was a super fat kid over the past week and weekend, and Monday and Tuesday, so yesterday I set myself back on my ways of not eating all the food known to man. So I had my stouffers lasanga that should have been all that I ate for the rest of the day, but I was all pissy, so I decided it would be a good idea to have a bagel. So I had one. and then another, and then another and then I finished one sleeve of them and then I kept going and had three more. And then I ran out of cream cheese to put on them so I was halted. And then I hated myself.

Seems like a lot all because I saw that director girl in the student lounge eh? Well, in my first class today we talked about children of divorce. So I got all flustered because - my parents arent divorced, nor do i think they ever will be, but I thought what it might be like if they were. And we also were talking about how children of divorce have a more difficult time in intimate relationships later on in life. And so then I was thinking about my interests. And taking the advice of my friend Amanda from my blog post from last night, I decided to text one. The one I hooked up with a couple weekends ago. Because I like him (its National Coming Out day, so why in the hell not - I mean basically everyone already knows, and probably, since I assume only Amanda and Lisa read this thing, they already know.  If you are not Amanda or Lisa and you did not know, well today's your lucky day ain't it?). So I texted him and didnt get a response for a while. Understandable- could have been in class. But eventually I did. And things went VERY well the night I met him - and then subsequently the morning after. And then there was good texting for a while, but lately things haven't been so back and forth, which in its way is good cuz otherwise, you run out of things to say. But so I mentioned wanting to see him again and that part of my text was ignored.

SO... as I was stuffing my face with bagel after bagel, I was perpetually thinking about how any romantic endeavor (i wont call them relationships, because I have yet to have one of those) I have had has seemed to start off real good and then I stay interested but the other guy doesnt. It's happened over and over. I use the hashtags because using names is a bit awks - #PHTSFriend #MysteryFriend #IntoTheWoodsFriend and now #SparrowFriend. #BOSTON seems to be fine, its just a matter of well, Boston vs NYC. hard to bridge that gap.

And I'll be honest - I've come to realize that either I am more attractive when I am drunk or I am more attractive when others are drunk. Both PHTS and Sparrow have been drunken encounters and then Sober Bryan still likes Sober D and R, but sober D and R quickly lose interest in sober bryan. Though i have had interactions with D after we were totally donezo and it seems to have sparked a little something, but then it died out real quick. So maybe it it just that I need to physically be with these people. Too bad I'm so fucking busy. Oh no wait... I'm not that busy - I'm in NO SHOWS.

So this is what's been going on in my brain this afternoon. Congrats if you got through it all. And special congrats if you followed what in the hell I was talking about.

My life is in shambles.
How bout yours?

Time Management

I write this during the last few mins before I have to leave for rehearsal.

I could have spent this time doing work. But I couldnt have gotten any measurable amount of work done, so I decided to not do anything instead... and then chose to write a blog post.

This semester started off rough with my time management, but has gotten remarkably better. Basically back to where it usually is. And I have come to realize that this is due to my lack of being busy. I mean, I'm plenty busy, and have loads of work, but I was unsuccessful at securing a role in any shows this semester at school and so my time is not being eaten up by rehearsals.

This is very nice, yet at the same time I wish I was doing something. Especially because the more time I have to waste, it seems the more time I do waste. Blerg.

So here's hoping that I get in Spring Awakening. That would be a blasty blast. Or maybe just something at Playwrights in the spring. Let's see if I can prepare better for those auditions.

Ok bye. Gotta go be Macbeth. #IDontWannaKillDuncan #YetIMust

Weekend Plans?

Yo.

So, first I want to talk about my attempts at learning my monologues via repetition whilst I sleep. It didn't seem to really work. Yet, I only went over them a few times before class, and I remembered a fair amount, but was by no means perfect with them. I think it must be helpful in some way, so I am going to try it again, but I won't start off tonight with it, because, let's be real... I miss my FRIENDS. (I watch Friends every night as I'm going to sleep) I have decided that if I wake up at any point throughout the night, that I will start listening then.

NOW - my weekend plans are beginning to form.

I am headed home Sunday morning to be in a show to benefit the Agawam Cultural Council but it is all Red Door folk in the show, so I'm singing a few songs and doing some other things for that, which should be fun.

But that means that I can't do anything too exciting Saturday night. And Saturday day I am reserving for cleaning up from last weekend and doing some work and things like that.

That just leaves Friday night -
My options are:
1. Ask one of my interests if they would like to do something.
2. Go to a Karaoke bar with my friend Kim
3. Drink with some of my PHTS friends in a park somewhere and walk around and laugh
4. Go to a bar with my roommate and a friend I know from home and her fraternity "brother"

What should I do!? Tell me please.
Thank you.
I love you.

Thoughts on "GRACE"

Ok- this is my "review" of Grace on Broadway. I use quotes because, I think this is just going to be some general thoughts on the show overall. Which, I guess is what a review is... but anyhow. It just seems so official.... also... there may be spoilers, or things you might think are spoilers - I don't know how you feel about these things, so I'm just warning you now.

Grace
Cort Theatre
Playwright: Craig Wright
Director: Dexter Bullard
Paul Rudd, Michael Shannon, Kate Arrington, and Ed Asner

First off, I just want to say that I loved the fact that I walked to this show from my apartment on East 48th Street and got to the theatre on West 48th Street. I didn't even have to go to the north side of 48th, just straight over. HOW COOL IS THAT!?

Ok, preshow - we are brought into the world of the play immediately through the set being completely visible and ambient Florida sounds being heard. I got in early and got to my seat with plenty of time to take in the set.

Let's talk about that for a minute - I was completely and utterly in love with this set. It was so simple, a front door, a sliding glass door, couch, chair, table with chairs, long desk behind the couch, coffee table. That was it. My friend Ashley noted that she preferred our seats (which were partial view Orchestra Left, but really weren't partial view at all) to the front row because the stage was so tall. I noticed that the stage was raked (higher in elevation in the back than in the front) which was very interesting to me, and then I noticed the whole set was within a circle on the stage and that the height of the stage was probably because of this circle rotating. And BOY was I right! Even before the play began there was ever so subtle spinning of the set, the doors generally spinning in opposition to the rest of the furniture.

This leads me to a note about the directing and staging/stage pictures/movement. I was fully impressed with how the set almost continuously was moving, yet many times went unnoticed.  The actors did well with this and were directed extremely well to move in such a way as to remain open to the audience by adjusting to the spinning of the set, but without making it completely obvious or annoying in the rest of their actions. The "choreography" of these actors on this stage was brilliant.

The actors also had amazing individual performances, as well as a collective amazingness as a whole.
I was most excited to see Paul Rudd because he played Mike, Phoebe's husband, on FRIENDS. And he did an excellent job, but I grew tired of his character, mostly I think because I am annoyed by that type of person and don't agree with what they believe. He was, to quote the show, a "jesus freak."

That leads me to Ed Asner. He had a large part in the beginning and ending of the play. That man is amazing, and this part is hilarious, and also heartbreaking - and heartwarming. He was probably my favorite part of the show.

Michael Shannon and Kate Arrington had probably the most consistent stuff to do. (Rudd gets to flip out at the end, which he does very convincingly.) I enjoyed both of their performances a lot.

I'm not sure what else to say at the moment, and I feel I've said quite a bit, so I'll stop.

I highly suggest trying to get in to see this show before it closes it's limited engagement in January.

Memorizing Monologues

Hello all.

So I should have started this homework at least last night, but instead decided to save it for tonight. Cuz I'm brilliant.

I had to learn 10 one minute monologues from Anton Chekov's Uncle Vanya (The first 3 acts) for tomorrow. I already had 4 memorized which is good, but 6 in one night is kind of a lot.

Off to memorize I went. And I successfully learned all 6. BUT, the thing is, I am worried that by the time I learned the sixth one, the first one was long since gone from my brain. As I went, I recorded myself reading each one.

I had done this earlier when I only had a few to learn so that I could get some review of them in on my walk to the subway to school. So, I continued this pattern, but there are so many of them now and I dont feel as confident with them that it will take more than just the walk to the subway to solidify them in my brainspace.

So I am gonna try something I've never done before tonight. I still feel like I need to catch up on my sleeps, even though I got 9 hours last night, so I am gonna try to get to bed asap. And instead of my usual watching FRIENDS on a half hour timer, I will be putting my headphones in and playing my recordings of my 10 (but really I've got 11) monologues on a constant loop for the duration of my sleep - or until my iPod dies.

I've never tried this before as a tactic for learning lines/monologues, so I have absolutely no idea if it will work or not, but I figure it's worth a shot. And if it doesnt work, at least I had them memorized at one point, so hopefully chunks of them will be at my disposal tomorrow during Acting class.

Here's hopin!

Update - Weekend of Shows and such

Hello Blawgy folk.

So, It's been a while since I last updated the good ole blawg. My apologies. (Especially to Lisa - she has been quite disgruntled about this state of affairs.)

Alrighty, so a whole bunch happened in the past few days.

Thursday night my friend Ashley came into town!! WOOT! She got in rul late and I basically just went to sleep asap after she got here because I had class 9-6 the next day.

After that we (Ashley, me and my roommate Sarah) went to see Paul Rudd, Ed Asner and others in GRACE on Broadway. I'll do a separate post about with a review of sorts for that show (and the others).  It was really great.

Post the stage door - where I got to "meet" Paul Rudd- so that was a good day. My second FRIEND (though he's really a FRIEND-in-law) after meeting David Schwimmer in August after Detroit at Playwrights Horizons.

Anywhoo - then Ashley and I went to see Sleep No More Off Broadway. IT WAS INTENSE. I cant even describe it accurately. There was so much to do and see and explore. I certainly did not get the full experience. And I don't think I possibly could have. But it was totally unique.

The next day, after getting back around 3am and eating a cheeseburger at a 24 hour diner I got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep because I had a rehearsal to go to for a scene I'm in for directing at 10 am. So I did that. Then Ashley got us tickets to see Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? which was also AMAZING. So crazy good.

Right after the show we met up with our great friends Jacqui and Su! Hanging out with them is always a great time. We walked back from the Times Square area and got 2 Bros Pizza on the way. We got two entire pizzas and soda for each of us and we each got to eat a half pizza and our soda for only $5 a piece! WHAT THE WHAT?! My favorite pizza place ever. Cheap = good. Then we hung out with them at my apartment while I got ready.

Got ready for what you ask? WELL, my partaytay of course! I had a party basically for my PHTS friends. I went and bought over $100 worth of alcohol and wasnt even thought about being carded. Hilarious. But the party went well, no one injured or arrested, or dead. Nothing broken or destroyed. And I think people had a good time. They certainly liked my shower in my kitchen. There were a whole bunch more people here than I suspected and all the booze went away a little earlier than hoped, but it was good because it encouraged people to leave sooner hahaha Also, my #PHTSFriend had talked about possibly coming but didnt end up showing up, so that was a little sad, but there's not much one can do.

So needless to say, I once again got to sleep late. And once again got about 4 and a half hours of sleep because I had to wake up to go get tickets to Chaplin the musical! I got them and Ashley and I saw the show and it was really great. Rob McClure who plays Chaplin was astounding. And funny story, the guy who wrote the show (book, music, and lyrics) was there and came out the stage door and Ashley and I chatted with him for a VERY long time. Mostly Ashley because she's a super Chaplin/old movie fan, but he was very nice and it was so great to get into the mind of someone who wrote a Broadway show! We talked about a whole bunch of stuff and it was great. Random things and also things about Chaplin and his family that not many people probably know.

That night we got chinese food delivered and it was very delicious. YUM. I had been craving it for quite a while.

Then I had to go to school at 9am on Columbus Day - because that's how NYU likes to work. And Ashley left mid day during a break I had so I could come bring her to the bus station.

Last night I was still very tired and had gotten all the work I needed to do for today done, so I got home and watched a whole bunch of episodes of Weeds and ate a CRAP TON of food. And then went to sleep before 10:30 and got just over 9 hours of sleep which was so needed.

Tonight I've got plenty of homework and memorizing that I have to do. But first, I shall be eating more food.

I hope you enjoyed the run down of my crazyface weekend. (Especially you Lisa - was it worth the wait!?)

Thanks for reading.
Bryan

Sometimes we have messy hair.

Hey blogosphere!

Random Thought: Blogosphere just reminded me of an amazing teacher I had last year named Blagovesta. She rocks.

So- the past two nights:

Friday night I went to a party that my friend invited me to because her boyfriend's friend thought that I was cute, so naturally I had to investigate. I couldn't pass up the chance for fun!  Things went fine, but I may have had too much of the alci and ended up in the bathtub for a while and threw up a few times. So that kinda blew, but so's life.

Yesterday my parents were here to celebrate my birthday which was nice and my dad baked an absurd amount of food. And they brought me a new tv, a big, soft new rug and other fun things! So that was nice.

Then last night I went to another party and was more restrained with my drinking. Go me. But I may have ended up going home with someone I met from Marymount Manhattan. Also go me. So that was fun.

Had to take a walk of shame home this morning with my hair all askew which was a bit awks with the people judging me and such. OH WELL! They didn't have nearly as much fun as I did. I'm certain of it.

Was this too much info to share on the blawgs? Probs.

-Bryan

Life is happening

Hey friends,

So I last spoke to you on Tuesday? But it was really more like Monday - by Bday had just begun.

So. I had a couple classes on my Bday. In one I got yelled at for not doing the reading... whoops. Then I went out with my roommate for our first official drink at a bar together... at 4:30pm. Naturally because we are spinsters. Also, we ate Mac and Cheese and then got milkshakes at a diner. Then I came home did some homework and started that crazy reading that I didnt do and then had to take notes on to turn in today. I went to sleep early (like 10:30) and got up at 6 to continue reading. Basically it was the wildest 21st birthday there ever has been.

Yesterday I had studio which was good and read every chance I got. I came home and ate some food and got right to reading. I finished the over 100 page thing by 8:38pm. It was greatness because then that weight was lifted off me and I could go see my friend Danny sing at a bar in the West Village without thinking about it. So off I went and had some drinks at the bar (only one of which did I pay for!) and watched Danny sing. He did well and then I left cuz it was past midnight and I had class today at 9:30. And my going has started a nice string of positive text messages, so I'm quite glad I went.

Today I had class again and tonight I have to figure out my COW project. Creating Original Work. I'm doing it sort of on depression and sort of on my life all set to music which I shall be "moving" to. It is my second showing of 4 before a final showing. So things can still change and this is my first time really putting it all together. Last time I just sat and sang "I've Been" from Next to Normal and cried. It was a fun time. So we shall see where this all goes.

I'm off to work on that fun stuff. I actually think I'll enjoy making this, but it's gonna take me a long time and I should have started earlier. OH WELL!

Ta ta for now,
Bryan

Birthday Time

Hey there Hi there Ho there.

So in less than 2 hours, it will be my Birthday! I wont have lived 21 years on this earth until sometime 3:25 or 3:52pm but the stores and bars don't need to know!

Anyhow. I think I'm gonna take a picture of the fun things I buy shortly after midnight at the Duane Reade.

So, I didn't finish talking about my Newsies experience. I said most stuff, but I wanted to mention how I noticed the structure of the show as a very classic musical. In a way, it almost made it predictable (but then again, the fact that it's a Disney musical makes it that). I was surprised by a twist dealing with the female lead that happened in Act Two, so I give props there. I'm listening to the music now and it's real good. I will have to learn to sing some of these songs!


Yesterday was the 26th Annual Broadway Flea Market and Grand Auction! I had volunteered and handed out fliers for this on Saturday and got a free shirt! Yay! So I wore it and people thought I was working it, but nope, just shoppin! I got some fun stuff - a lobby decoration from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, a "Have a Wicked Wednesday" hat, a Drowsy Chaperone travel mug, a Carol Channing Hello Dolly Playbill, a hat supposedly worn in HAIR (I have my suspicions about that but oh well) (picture seen at left), among other things. I only spent $60 this year versus over $200 last year, so my self restraint was pretty good!!

I also saw many friends at the Flea Market. Lots of actual friends, and also a couple romantic interests ;) haha Both were working at booths (ATPAM and Concessions) and I had positive interactions with both, which made me happy! Texting happened after and things are heading on good paths.

So overall, it was a successful weekend! Just had studio today. It was kinda rough, coming off of this weekend, but I got through. And then I went to a evening of 10 Minute Play Readings at PHTS. There were a couple other "friends" there. Haha Plus the plays were good, so I guess that makes it worth it. It was free after all.

Another interesting thing - (warning this really isn't that interesting) I forgot to bring food with me today and so I ended up getting 2 slices of cheese and a Coke Zero TWICE today at 2 Bros Pizza. I mean, it's 2 meals for $5.50. Doesn't get much better than that.

Alrighty. I'm gonna add photos and post this once I'm 21!
Bryan is at it again!
That's a new catchphrase I'm workin' on.
Bryan

P.S. 11:45pm update. I am RUL tired. Yet I keep myself awake so I can go buy candy. #GoodLifeChoices

P.P.S. 12:41am update Photographic proof:

Newsies

Hello all,

So I'm tired and have to get up early in the morning, but I want to give some of my reactions to the musical Newsies that I just saw.

I cried.

It's not a sad show. But there was a moment of great theatricality that, once again, like so many other things and times before, reaffirmed the knowledge in my mind that I want to do nothing else but this the rest of my life. Then at the end I cried a bit because I was sad that I have such poor dance ability. The dancing in this show is beyond amazing. So in that moment, I decided that I would actually do the thing I've been toying with. I'm going to minor in Dance at NYU.

Overall, I really enjoyed the show. The music is great and the story is good. The set was very cool, though I didn't get the full effect because I had a standing room only ticket and the top half of the stage was not viewable to me unless I ducked down. Not that this is bad, but it felt very classically structured. It was a classical broadway show with a rather simple formula that they just filled in the blanks.

Alright. I'm falling asleep. Maybe I'll write more about this later.

In summary - good show, I can't dance and my life is in shambles.

Love yah,
Bryan

Weekend and Thoughts for my 21st

Hello blogging world,

So this weekend is off to a rip roaring start.

Today (really yesterday since it is almost 1am) was my roommate Sarah's 21st birthday. I had studio all day long. Got Sarah a card at CVS and discovered a lovely birthday cake for her in the form of Birthday Cake Oreos! YUM. And then we went out to dinner at a great Italian place Al Forno on the Upper East Side. Then I went to pick up my loverly friend Michelle from the Port Authority!

We proceeded to hang out with my friends from school. We watched a couple short videos. One of me singing at a funeral, the other of Annie Sprinkle's cervix. So, basically good times. (Michelle adds: If that doesn't say rip roarin start to a weekend, I don't know what does!)

Tomorrow (Saturday): PLANS
Breakfast - PANCAKES YUM. Probs with white chocolate chips in them. Because life is better with white chocolate chips.
Then I am volunteering for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS in preparation for the Broadway Flea Market. I am very excited about this. They are giving me a free shirt, which means life is good.
Then I am hanging out with Michelle and getting some food stuffs and buying some sexy under panties for me.
Then we are probably going to see Once the Musical on Broadway and if not, Newsical the Musical Off-Broadway!
Then potentially at 4am I might be going to see BOSTON. So that would be a different kind of YUM.

SUNDAY
THE BROADWAY FLEA MARKET Woo. I would explain more about this, but, let's be real, it's 1am and I'm tired.
Then a couple rehearsals.

And my Birthday thoughts.
For my 21st Birthday, I'm thinking of getting my first and only tattoo. What do yah think?! It would be of the Earth as seen from a great, great distance. (In essence, a blue dot.) It is a reference from FRIENDS. So tell me your thoughts.

Ok, I've blathered on for long enough.
Now I must put away four weeks of laundry and then sleep.
And so ends the rip roaring start to my weekend.
See yah pals,
Bryan